At least make sure they are 18
Why
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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