He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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