how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize