I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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