She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
