brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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