Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
