he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
