A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
