You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
