We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
