We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
