Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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