Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
