He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
