Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize