I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this beer tastes like vomit already
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
