Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
