I'm going to jail i love you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
