I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
