There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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