The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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