"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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