Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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