His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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