when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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