i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Michael Bay diarrhea
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
