do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
