So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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