Farmville is her only friend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
