Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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