Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
