My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
