He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
