I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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