Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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