Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
