I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
