You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
