haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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