Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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