I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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