Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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