He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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