how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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