Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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