bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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