Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize