You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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