If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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