She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
