I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
