Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
