I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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