I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
