woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
