I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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