the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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