well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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