tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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