He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
