woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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