I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
