woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
