What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
