i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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