she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
