I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
